old..., new.... ; confusion!

Back in Rhodos.... Not planned, although I wished for this ever since I left Rhodos. I bought a last minute ticket and last Saturday I found myself suddenly on a plane heading Rhodos.

Approaching the island and the airport, I saw all these landmarks, memories came back... I saw the Attavyros, highest mountain of Rhodos, where I once sat down to watch sunset, I saw the strange round antennas (like big footballs) on top of a hill along the airport, where Tamara and I once tried to drive to on our scooter, on a day where we 'scootered' around the island, driving on roads that we didn't know yet. And I forgot completely about the big and ugly electricity factory. Well, there it was again, covering the sky above Rhodos with a dirty curtain of smoke. And then the city Trianta where I lived, or Filerimos, the cross on the hill above my house, where I had some troubles to reach the top by mountainbike without training... And I can continue like this for hours. Everyday memories, places, people are popping up in my head. Things I thought I forgot, but apparantly everything is still there....

It's confusing as there is so much and although I try to enjoy as much as possible right now, I get distracted by all these memories. I try not to relive my memories by doing the same things as I did 3 years ago, when I lived here. I want to make new memories. Although I would love to see the complete island, every place where I once went, it would exhaust me, as it wouldn't fit in one week. But more important, it would not be good, it's simply no good to go back in time. So instead of that, I'm not doing that much.... Well, I'm relaxing, enjoying and thinking a lot, so that's enough!
Most of the day you can find me somewhere in the big garden of Matteo, next to the pool with fishes, lying in a hammick, or watching his birds. In the evenings you can find me in the kitchen as we made the deal that I could stay in his house, if I would cook. And I'm even enjoying that, ha! Looks I'm really growing up, I don't even mind to do the dishes ;-)

Of course we have been discovering the beautiful nature of Rhodos again, one of my favourites things to do. Just driving with a jeep, enjoying the view, the pretty flowers, the silence and the wind in the trees. I love the silence! I just wish I could set up my tent and stay there, not only silence outside, but also silence inside me. It makes me realize I changed big time since I left Holland 3 years ago and this is where it all started....
I can't tell you how good it feels to be back and to see this difference in me. I'm gratefull for the time I spend in Rhodos and Fuerteventura. I couldn't have done it better! Everything happened for a reason and I'm satisfied with that, even with the sad things happened on my way to get here.

Photo's and some more about what I did do and see on Rhodos will follow once I'm back home, next week.

And before I forget: I just want to say how special I feel with friends like you. Your reactions on my mental journey story made me realize again how special you are, and how happy I am to have close friends like you! I treasure that!
And again I feel happy and satisfied with my life! :-D

Update 14/06: As I get some questions about why I'm confused (see title), here a small update. First, this is the prove that indeed I'm confused, as I couldn't really explain why I was confused, I just felt confused... So many things going on; so many memories coming back, a lot of thinking about my own development which started on Rhodos. And next to that, some new experiences as well of course, as I'm here. Let's just say that all of this was one big spaghetti in my head, with no clue where the beginning was and where the end.
Anyway, things are clear now :-) You'll find out in my next message....